


Her Own Person

by tofupanda



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-13
Updated: 2012-08-13
Packaged: 2017-11-12 00:55:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/484823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tofupanda/pseuds/tofupanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A replica. That’s all she’ll ever be in his eyes. A copy of the living clay doll. But sometimes, she was okay with it. Sometimes she could wait. Just a bit longer. To be her own person.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Her Own Person

_To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.  
\- _ _Bertrand Russell  
_

**Her Own Person**

"Inuyasha! Sit!" a loud, sickening 'thump' was heard throughout the forest as a raven-haired girl walked furiously in the opposite direction of her canine companion.

 _That jerk! He just_ _ **had**_ _to bring Kikyo into this! Am I never going to be good enough for him? Am I never going to be my own person…?_ Kagome thought sadly as she return to the hut.

It had been another day again. One of _those_ days. Where he smells the clay doll and goes rushing to her like a lovesick puppy, abandoning any task he was given at the moment. And looking out for an injured Kagome was no exception.

 _This is stupid! I'm just wasting my time with him. He'll never take a second glance at me. Not when_ _ **she's**_ _alive,_ Kagome sighed outwardly; _maybe I should just give up._

"Kagome!" a voice came from outside, "Just what the hell do you think you're doing, wench?"

Kagome sighed again, she really didn't need this and she wasn't exactly looking forward to seeing the hanyou's face.

She ignored him when he came inside the hut and continued packing things into the oversize yellow backpack.

"Oi, wench, look at me when I'm talking to you!" he growled. There she goes again, sitting him for no particular reason. And frankly, he wasn't appreciating it that much.

"OI! Wen-" Inuyasha was cut off as Kagome sent him a menacing glare. "For goodness sake, Inuyasha, how many times have I told you my name's Kagome? I think it's about time I get some respect around here."

Inuyasha glowered at Kagome, "Respect? How can you expect respect when you go around sitting me?" Kagome simply ignore his comment and continue shuffling and stuffing into that bag of hers.

"Wench! Kago-"

"I'm going home for a few days," Kagome cut him off.

"What? Why?"

Kagome glared at Inuyasha.

"Why? Well, let's see, one, I'm injured, have you forgotten that I have a sprained arm?" Inuyasha mentally cursed himself for forgetting, he felt a pang of guilt stab him when Kagome waved her arm at him.

"Two, have you forgotten that I have my finals next week? I don't have time to be looking for shards right now, this isn't like before, this test determines if I'm actually going to graduate, and with the amount of time I'm gone, I'll be lucky if I get a passing grade," Inuyasha wince slightly, he had forgotten about her finals, too.

"And who are you to talk about ignoring the shards when you run off with Kikyo every five minutes? Don't give me that crap!" Kagome was breathing quite heavily when she was done, her chest heaving up and down.

"Oh- wait, since when the hell did Kikyo fit into all of this?" Inuyasha pressed on. "Since I said so!" Kagome shouted before she lifted up her rump sack and walked toward the well.

"Kagome! Just wait a goddamn second!" Inuyasha exclaimed as he followed her to the well.

"No, you wait a second! I'm tired of waiting around for you. I'm tired of not seeing my own family. I'm tired of looking for shards when I have other priorities on my list, like for example, oh I don't know, getting my education!" By this time, Kagome was yelling at the top of her lungs.

Inuyasha backed away from the red-faced girl a little; maybe he had pushed her buttons just a _tad_ bit far.

Kagome took a few deep breaths before she continued in a calm voice, "I'm going back to study for a few days. _Don't_ come looking for me, I had have enough of you. I'll come back when my finals are finished. For now, just do whatever you want," and with that, she jumped into the well.

"Fuck!" Inuyasha cursed as he kicked the side of the well, "What the hell's up her ass?"

* * *

"Tadaima!" Kagome yelled as she went through her front door. "Okaa-san? Souta? Jii-san?" Kagome looked through the living room before heading toward her bedroom.

"That's weird," she told herself, "they're usually here," she changed out of her uniform into a white sundress before she traveled downstairs to look for her family.

"Okaa-san?" she went through the kitchen toward the opening of the shrine. Sure enough, there was her grandpa, yelling at a bunch of rowdy kids that decided to litter on the shrine floor.

"Yah! That'll teach ya next time ya wanna litter on my floor!" he yelled furiously at them, his hand in an angry fist, shaking menacingly at them.

"Jii-san!" Kagome ran over to the elderly. "Where's okaa-san and Souta?"

Grandpa Higurashi turned around to face his granddaughter. "Kagome! Glad to see ya back! Ya mom is out shopping and Souta is over at one of those arcades things…kids these days…don't appreciate anything…" he mumbled as he continued sweeping the imaginary leaves at his foot.

"So, what ya doing back so early?"

Kagome looked over with a raised brow, "I have finals next week, jii-san,"

Grandpa Higurashi looked up with a surprise look on his face, "Isn't that next month?"

Kagome shook her head, "No jii-san, its next week," she confirmed with a nod. "Kami," Grandpa Higurashi mumbled as he piled a bunch of dust onto the dustpan, "am I honesty that behind in the world?"

Kagome chuckled at her grandfather's behavior, "Why don't I take it from here? You go take a nap or something,"

Grandpa Higurashi looked at Kagome before he sighed.

"Child, what will I do without you?" Kagome smiled before taking the broom into her own hands and started sweeping across the stone floor. "Kagome," Grandpa Higurashi began, "is Inuyasha, by any chance, stopping by?"

Kagome stopped her sweeping before she mumbled, "I don't know," why can't she get away from him even in her own time? "Why'd you ask?"

"Oh nothing," he waved his hands, "I just wanted to ask about his sword, that thing is a fine piece of art, great swordsmanship and greatly detailed…" he turned around and continued mumbling about swords.

Kagome sighed before turning her attention back to sweeping. Was she a bit harsh back then? She really didn't mean half the things she said…but it was partly his fault, like why did he have to go talk to stupid Kikyo again?

Kagome frown as she stopped sweeping the floor. She'll never be good enough, will she? She can never replace her. _Ever_.

Kagome didn't notice the single tear that dropped from her eye until it hit the group with a hard _splat._ Kagome sighed as she wiped her face and picked up the broom and dustpan before heading up to her house.

She's doing it again. She's crying over something stupid. A stupid hanyou.

She was like rebound. Can't get the real thing, so why not settle for second best? And just throw it aside when the real thing comes. It doesn't have feelings, so why should he care? He's got his little clay doll, nothing else in the world matters.

Kagome thought bitterly about how he stopped whatever they were just to talk to Kikyo. Don't worry about them, they're nothing important, they're willing to stop any task at hand just for him to fill up his stupid dog desires.

Kagome widened her eyes as she opened the door to her room. She was acting like it again. She was acting like a jealous ex again. She banged her head against her pillow. Does God hate her or what?

Kagome closed her eyes and decided to take a nap. God only knows how much she deserved it.

* * *

"Stupid bitch," Inuyasha mumbled as he walked through the forest. "What the fuck's wrong with her? 'I have priorities, Inuyasha!' " he mimicked Kagome as he kicked a pile of pebbles in front of him. "Keh."

He then stopped in the middle of his tracks, his nose picking up a familiar scent. Again? It couldn't be…it _wouldn't_ be…but he had to know.

Inuyasha ran to the source of the smell, and sure enough, there was the thing he was looking for. Or rather, a person.

"Kikyo…" he breathed out. Twice in one day. This was getting oddly familiar.

"Inuyasha," the dead priestess said, "what is it that you want?"

Inuyasha growled, "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be somewhere collecting more dead souls or something?"

Kikyo looked at the hanyou with her lifeless, icy gray eyes before answering, "You made me a promise, Inuyasha, and I'm merely reminding you of it."

Inuyasha looked away before Kikyo continued, "It's that girl, isn't it? The second me?"

Inuyasha bared his fangs before glaring at her, "Kagome is **not** a second you, you two may look alike, but that is the only similarity between the two of you."

Kikyo moved forward toward Inuyasha. "You've gotten soft, Inuyasha…this is what years of traveling with humans does to you…" she trailed her finger down his face, tracing his jaw line, "weak…vulnerable…defenseless…so unlike the Inuyasha I knew…he didn't care about anything…certainly not a useless human girl."

Inuyasha's jaws tightened, "People change, Kikyo," he pried her hand away from his face, "sometimes for the better."

Kikyo's face immediately hardened, "You made a promise to me Inuyasha. You promises me you'd go to hell with me. I expect you to fore fill that promise."

Inuyasha looked over at Kikyo before looking down, "No, I promised I'd put your soul to rest, I never promised I'd go to hell with you. I won't Kikyo…I can't…I...I have something to protect here…something to live for…someone that'll accept me for who I am."

"It's that girl, isn't it? Kagome, was it?" Kikyo asked. Inuyasha shook his head, "It's not just Kagome…I have a mission here…I have other people to protect…Miroku...Sango…even that little brat...I can't leave now…not when so many people need me."

Kikyo let out a sigh as a sad smile appeared upon her lips, "You really have changed, Inuyasha, I'm just sorry that I'm not going to be there for you."

"Kikyo…" Inuyasha reached out to her before she shook her head, "No, Inuyasha, like you said, you have people to protect...a mission to be accomplished...kill Naraku, then our deed is settled," Kikyo said as her soul stealers began to form around her, her body becoming transparent.

Inuyasha looked at his former lover with sadness lingering in his eyes, "Kikyo…I'm sorry…" Kikyo shook her head, "That girl…Kagome…she's good for you…don't lose her…"

Inuyasha stayed where he was, watching Kikyo until he couldn't see her anymore. He sighed and turned to back to the hut. Well, at least he didn't have to go to hell just yet.

When Inuyasha got back to the hut, things were unusually quiet as Sango, Miroku, and Shippou silently ate their lunch.

All three looked up when Inuyasha came inside. "What?" he asked.

Sango was the first to speak, "I see you're back,"

Inuyasha nodded dumbly, "Yeah? And?"

Shippou looked away, but Inuyasha could've sworn he heard something along the lines of _stupid jerk_.

He was about to hit him across the head when he noticed a familiar scent lingering around them.

"Lady Kagome came by," Miroku said as he read Inuyasha's mind. "She was worry that our injuries weren't treated right."

 _Shit!_ Inuyasha thought, "She came back even though she was injured herself to check up on a certain someone only to realize that that certain someone went to see a certain someone else," Miroku continued on.

Inuyasha swallowed the big lump that was forming in his throat. Could Kagome come at any worse time? …Apparently not.

"I..we..I didn't..she…" Inuyasha stumbled.

Sango shook her head, "Don't explain it to us, explain it the very upset girl that left ten minutes again."

Inuyasha rushed out of the hut and went for the well. Shit. He had screwed up big time. Why was it that every time he tried to fix something, it always went haywire?

 _And Kagome…_ Inuyasha stopped at the well before placing a hand on the outer rims.

Kagome. She was everything and more. She accepted him for him. She listened to him when no one would. She was there for him when no one else was. And here he was, pushing her further and further away.

Inuyasha's grip on the wood tightened. He was going to make it up to Kagome one way or another.

* * *

Kagome sat on her bed, her hand tightly gripping the other. He saw her again. He was seeing her. And he was going to continue to see her.

She choked on her own breath as she took in another. The tears…they wouldn't come…she ran out…she ran out of them a long time ago.

And now…now what? She was going have to face him sooner or later. And…? And then what would happen?

Kagome heard a tap on the window and her eyes widened as she saw who it was. Should she do it? Should she let him in? Should she open it?

Kagome sighed before moving toward her window, gesturing for him to get in. Inuyasha looked at her before she drew a shaky breath, "Inuyasha…"

And slowly, without warning, her eyes began to burn as her vision blurred. "Inuyasha…." she let out again.

Inuyasha looked at Kagome's pain filled eyes before looking down at his feet. "I…" he didn't know where to begin. Where in the world could he possibly begin?

Kagome shook her head gently before giving him a sad smile. "It's okay," she said weakly, "I'm…I'm never going to be good enough for you…will I? I can never replace her…"

"Kagome…" he began, but she shook her head a little faster this time, "Its okay…," she repeated, "I get it."

"I mean, who wouldn't like her? She's pretty…calm…graceful…hell, I'd date her too if I was a guy-" before she could finish her sentence Inuyasha pulled her into a bear crushing hug.

"Jesus, woman," he whispered into her hair, "you never shut up, do you?" Kagome drew in another shaky breath before speaking, "Inuyasha…"

Inuyasha opened up her window and jumped to one of the thicker branches of the Goshinboku tree, holding Kagome securely in his hands.

"Kagome," Inuyasha began, holding Kagome between his legs, "we need to talk…" before Kagome could say anything he covered her mouth with his hand. "When I said 'we,' I meant me."

Kagome could only nod and gesture for him to continue. "I know…we've had our differences…I pick fights with you when I really don't need it….I call you names when I don't mean it…and I push you away when I really needed someone to talk to."

Kagome looked up to see Inuyasha staring intensely into her eyes, "But, despite all that, you're still the person I trust the most. You're still my best friend."

Kagome open her mouth to say something before Inuyasha placed a finger on her lips, "No, I need you to listen to this," Kagome nodded and closed her mouth.

"When we were fighting that ogre today…I was constantly thinking about how it might hurt you…when I turned human, I was always thinking about how I'm going to be too weak to defend you…when you broke your ankle two months ago…I couldn't stop blaming myself for what had happen to you," Inuyasha said as he closed his eyes and take Kagome's scent. God, he could stay like this for hours.

"Kikyo…she…she's the past…and I'm looking toward the future. I admit, I'm still in love with her…but that's a different love…we have a deal…and I have to settle it with her. I'm not going to hell, Kagome," Inuyasha gently turned Kagome's chin to face him, "because I found something to protect, someone to live for."

Kagome felt her eyes tear up as she looked into Inuyasha's eyes. They weren't the usual hard gold she was use to seeing. Instead, they were a soft, molten ember that held such so much emotion, so much pain.

"And you…you're everything and so much more…you're more than enough for me…you're more than enough for the whole universe. Yes, there will be a part of my heart that can never forget or replace Kikyo…but…that doesn't mean I can't make room for more," Inuyasha confessed.

Kagome let a tear slide her face as Inuyasha gently wiped it away, "You and Kikyo are so different in _so_ many ways. You're caring, gentle, loving, kind, strong…and…accepting…not only of me, but of everyone you meet…and it makes me wonder how in the world…can someone be so pure and good hearted? And it scares me…that I'm going to taint a gentle, kind hearted person like you."

By now, all Kagome could do was look at Inuyasha as tears trailed down her face, "I know I don't appreciate you enough….I know I yelled at you way too much…and I pick fights when they're not needed…and I act like a jerk to you and you deserve so much better," Inuyasha whispered as he tilted Kagome's head to look up at him, "but until we kill Naraku, until all this bullshit is over, will you stay by my side? And continue fighting with me, continue taking all the meaningless crap I throw at you…continuing to be my friend?"

Kagome looked up to see sincerity, truth, and hope in Inuyasha's eyes. Her lips trembled as she slowly nodded her head.

"Yes, Inuyasha, yes, I'll stay with you. Yes, I'll continue to be your friend," Inuyasha closed his eyes as he hugged Kagome from behind, "Thank you, Kagome," he whispered ever so quietly into her ears.

Inuyasha was right. She may never replace Kikyo, but he could always make room for more.

Finally, after all those years, she wasn't in someone's shadow anymore.

After all those years, he accepted her as who she was.

After all these years, she was her own person.

And until they finished off Naraku, she was fine with that.

" _Thank you."_

**End**

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my beta, Moshi-san. Written back in 2007. (Did quick math, wrote this when I was 14. ಠ_ಠ Embarassing...)


End file.
